Good news for all of us social klutzes out there. You know, we’re the people always tripping over our words or stumbling through awkward situations. There’s some simple psychological skills available to turn any of us from a social nincompoop into a social ninja.
The Feet Tell All
According to Huffington Post, you can tell where someone’s interest lies simply by looking at their feet. If you approach a group of people and they turn their whole bodies toward you, including their feet, it means you are welcome to join them. If they only twist the upper halves of their bodies, it means you are interrupting them.
Get On The Same Side
If you feel a fight coming on with someone, move closer to them. Avoid talking with them from across the table. Move around so you that you are on the same side. By breaking down that one physical barrier, you may be able to avoid a nasty conflict.
Be The Bobblehead
We all like it when people agree with us. Try nodding your head while you are trying to persuade someone of something. Instinctively, they will nod back and deep down in their subconscious, they will start agreeing with what you are saying.
Get A Little Touchy
Studies show that female servers who lightly touch their customers on the shoulder, hand or arm get a bigger tip. PsychologyToday explains that physical touch builds rapport, in essence tricking people into feeling liked.
Fold Your Arms While You Are Talking
Here’s how to tell if someone is paying attention: While you are in the middle of your fascinating story, fold your arms. If your audience folds their arms, they are hooked.
Meeting people for the first time doesn’t have to be uncomfortable. Instead, go into the situation telling yourself that you are meeting up with old friends. Not only will this help ease your anxiety, but it will help others warm up to you faster too.
What Time Is It?
Researchers have found that people who are tired are more likely to lie, cheat and deceive.Business Insider describes a study in which participants were asked to roll a die several times and report the number. They were told that the higher the number, the more they would be paid. It turned out that the morning people who participated in the study at night were more likely to fib about their results than the morning people who participated in the morning. The same thing happened with the night owls. When tired, they too were more likely to lie about their die rolls than when they were well rested. So if you know that someone is a morning person, just realize they may be more inclined to tell a fib at night. Vice versa for night owls.
Look Deeply Into Their Eyes
When first meeting someone, take the time to focus on their eye color and smile at the same time. Taking that extra gaze shows your confidence. But don’t stare — that just creeps people out! Also see if their pupils are dilating. If they are, it means they are interested in what you are putting out there. Psychology Today explains that when focused on a visually pleasing object, the eye will dilate, allowing it to “take in more” of the stimulus. In other words, if a person likes what they see, their pupils will grow.
If you have your stuff together, show it. Having a clean desk, car or home shows that you are responsible and well organized. On the flip side, if you meet someone who’s kinda sloppy, well, be warned!
Follow The Leader
Want to make a good impression on the boss? Do a subtle impression of him or her by matching body language and speaking patterns. Have the same kind of handshake. If he’s chatty, you be chatty. If she’s brief and to the point, be the same.
Get Them to Spill the Beans
If you aren’t satisfied with someone’s explanation or answer to a question, keep quiet. Odds are, they will be uncomfortable with the silence and continue talking.
You can even guess their political preference!
This may be hard to believe, but according to Science Daily, here is yet another reason the eyes are considered windows to the soul. Researchers found that by following someone’s gaze, you can predict their political preference. How do you do this? Simply shift your eyes around during a one-on-one conversation. If the person follows your gaze, odds are they are left-leaning. Do their eyes stay locked on you? This is telltale sign that you are chatting up a conservative.
Look For Lies
If a person’s body language is out of whack then it may be a sign that they aren’t being truthful. Is their body twisted around like a pretzel? Or are their fingers drumming on the table? Are their eyes not meeting yours? Could be clues that they are uncomfortable in lying to you.
Cue The Clues
The next time you’re having a conversation with someone, take notice of their traits and interactions to learn more about their character. You may even surprise yourself and notice you give off a few cues too!