New Resort Offers Guests Free Alcohol, Cocaine, & ‘Unlimited Sex’ With Hookers

As culture and the age of the star-spangled empire deteriorate into what could mirror a reality show spin-off of the Mike Judge film Idiocracy, the absurdity of the modern world seems to grow stranger by the day. Reason has been replaced by convenience and hysteria has become a god.

So bring on the hookers, blow, and booze.

One firm is now offering those interested in a weekend of pleasure — and, potentially, a lifetime of regret — a holiday package that includes plenty of thrills and rides, but no Mickey Mouse.

The Good Girls Company is advertising a ‘Sex Island’ 4-day vacation package for people who have presumably been given only weeks to live. Located in Colombia, the private island includes 60 prostitutes on site for only 30 guests. That’s a 2-to-1 hooker-to-john ratio, for those keeping track at home.

A video, which has been removed from YouTube for its sexual nature, promoted the disease-promising getaway, informing potential customers there will be ‘unlimited sex’ in a ‘drug friendly’ environment,’ along with airport pickup and drop-off. (Side note: How many men saw this ad and were on the fence as to whether they should take this soul-wrecking plunge into debauchery until they found out airport transport was included?

“Should we do it, Brad?”

“I don’t know Chad, it sounds like we could become STD-ridden and come home with a guilt that could prick our conscience for decades.”

”They’ll pick us up from the airport.”

“Ok. I’m in.”

Add-ons advertised on the group’s website include erotic massages and threesomes. They also include horse riding and golf (Tiger Woods, are you listening?) for those who might need a break from living like Justin Bieber.

Quenching one’s hedonistic desires never sounded so obscenely ridiculous.

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