While parents are supposed to nurture and care for their children many tend to lose sight of the important things. Sure, taking care of their physical needs is good but their emotional needs matter too.
Everything a child goes through as he or she is growing has an impact on how he or she ends up as an adult. Even the smallest things make a difference. If you do not take care of your child emotionally you are causing them problems that will last a lifetime.
Below I am going to go over some of the things a lot of toxic parents tend to do that can and will cause damage to the minds of their children. Whether you are a parent or not you may someday be one, do not do these things. Be there for your kids in all the ways they need you to be. Of course, some of these things might seem small, but they all make a big difference.
13 Things Toxic Parents Do That Cause Mental and Emotional Damage To Their Kids:
1. They are too judgmental.
Let’s face the facts, we shouldn’t be too easy on our kids, but you should never be overly judgmental. Some things just cannot be changes, nor should they be. Your children are going to be who they are going to be, and you should never try and change them. You can’t expect them to be just like everyone else overnight. Nobody is perfect! Being too judgy just means your kids aren’t going to want to come to you when they need to.
2. They remind their children of all the things they’re sacrificing or giving up.
You might be giving up a lot to be a mother or father but that is a choice that you made. It is not your kid’s fault you have to do things for him or her. Don’t blame him or her for existing. Your children didn’t ask to be brought into this world. Blaming them for things they can’t control is like making their existence seem worthless.
3. They make really mean jokes.
Making mean jokes might seem like nothing but poking fun to you but to your kids, it could be more than enough to make them insecure about something about themselves. Chances are they already don’t feel great about themselves, kids struggle with confidence throughout most of their childhood. Why would you want to add to that? You should be building them up.
4. They guilt trip their children constantly.
Don’t guilt trip your children. This makes them feel like they are always doing something wrong or that just because something does something for them they owe that person something. You have to be there for them, you are their parents. Stop making them feel bad when you’re doing your job, you’re supposed to take care of them.
5. They make their children feel responsible for their own actions.
Have you ever said something like ‘look what you made me do?’ Then you are guilty of this one. You are the person in charge of your own actions. If you do something you shouldn’t do or something overly toxic then own up to it, don’t blame it on your kids.
6. They project their dreams onto their kids.
Your children are not you. They are not always going to want to do or be the same as you. You should not be living out your dreams through your kids. They should be able to be their own persons. You will make them feel very lost if you do this.
7. They take too much from them.
Don’t take too much from your child at one time. Sure, you should ground them when they do something bad, but don’t be the kind of parent to literally take the sheets from their bed. There should be lines drawn when it comes to things like this.
8. They demand attention all the time.
Stop acting like your kids need to have their world revolve around you. Forcing them into being momma’s boys or so forth is not going to do them any good. You don’t need to push them into not knowing how to exist without you.
9. They punish first and ask questions later.
If you punish first and ask questions later you’re forcing your child into hating authority. They need to be sat down and have things gone over. Everyone needs to know what is going on before punishment occurs.
10. They make their children afraid of them.
You don’t need to make your kids scared of you to get your point across. If they fear you they won’t come to you when they need you. This can cause them to be very withdrawn as they grow up and well into adulthood.
11. They don’t make their kids feel secure or supported.
As we grow up we need to feel secure. If we feel out of place right from the start it will make things ten times harder as we become adults. Emotional support is just as important as financial and physical support.
12. They dismiss their kids’ emotions.
If you dismiss your children’s emotions you will make them grow up thinking it is not okay to feel things or express emotion. They will not know how to function properly and relationships will become a nightmare. This is damning to them from the start.
13. They act out of anger and refuse to talk things through.
If you refuse to talk to your kids about the problems that come up you are going to make them do the same as they grow up. They will also begin to lash out instead of actually sitting down and making things right. This is a bad habit to get them started on and will always leave them feeling as if they have done something wrong.